Time warp
by aliepalie
Summary: Hidan and Kakuzu have a mission to examine a cave. Its a mysterious cave. It appeared in just one night. But when they are in the cave something weird happens. Where are they..? warning: strong language thanks to our friend Hidan.
1. Chap 1

Time warp…

I don't own Naruto. Of course. What exactly do ya think. Masashi Kishimoto does.

"No. No, no, no, no. We're NOT going in that thing." Hidan said.

"What now. I thought you were afraid of nothing!" Kakuzu spat.

"Uhuh. Smart answer. You prick."

"Duh I am smart. Now go inside." Kakuzu pushed him in the weird hole.

"K-kakuzu! It's cold!" "Yeah. That's common in caves." "A-and its dark!" "Well duh. Do you see any light-bulbs!? Stop whining!" "… you fuckface…"

They had a mission. A mission to see why there was a cave. 'Coz it appeared in just one night. Now Hidan and Kakuzu were inside that cave. Hidan didn't like it at all…

They walked and walked and were engulfed by complete darkness. Their footsteps sounded ten times louder than they did earlier. Then… A flash. Everything went from complete black to striking white. The next thing they knew they were in a forest. But actually I think it's a crime to call it that. It was too small for that. A road went straight true it. A road with strange vehicles. Vehicles that drove by themselves.

"W-where the FUCK are we!?" Hidan screamed. Kakuzu looked around and shrugged. "I don't know even if you killed me." "Yeah, yeah. It's your friggin fault we're here! Get us out!" "I don't think it's that easy Hidan…" And so they kept on arguing till a random women screamed out: "Iewww! That man doesn't have a shirt on!!" (A/N: Think of the voice as extremely irritating and whiney.) Hidan looked up and saw a few people looking strange at him. He stood up. "What the h**l do ya want!?" They kept on looking and talking to the persons standing next to them. "Grr! I kill you all! Jashin! Watch me!" And he charged at the persons who looked horrified by now. "Stop!" Kakuzu said. "Were in another world. We'd better keep them … happy." "Hmpf. Okay. But If you can't get us out here I am f**king gonna kill someone!!" They walked away. The people ran away screaming bloody murder.

"Now DEAR Kakuzu. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW!?" Hidan yelled. "Shut up. Or I'll kill you." "Jashin, Kakuzu! As if you could seriously pull it off!" A little man with dark brown hair ran into him, apologizing. "Y-young master! What are you doing here?! You should be playing violin by now! Your teacher is waiting for you! Why did you run away? And who is that… ehm… person… next to you, young master!?" The little man asked. "A-and why are you wearing those clothes? Where is your shirt?" A vein twitched on Kakuzu's face. _That… ehm… person!? _"Kakuzu..? Who the fuck is that man!?" Hidan whispered annoyed. The man who apparently had good ears said: "His name is Kakuzu? From which country is he? But don't mind that question… Did you just say f-fuck..?! You must have some kind of sun stroke or something. You have to come with me, young master! I can't let you just walk here with that… person… Kakaza or something…" Kakuzu twitched. _There actually were people who were more annoying then Hidan…_

The little man took them to a house. Not just any house you mind, a complete mansion. While talking (that's what the man had done the whole way) he led them inside. The hall was enormous. Everywhere were gold candleholders. Hidan was twitching, Kakuzu drooling. They didn't have much time to watch, because the man led them already upstairs. Before a big door he came to an halt. "Young master..? You can go inside. If you need something you can call me or one of the maids. Ehm… sir?" This was pointed towards a twitching Kakuzu. "The young master.." *twitch twitch* "..needs rest. If you wanna excuse him? Here. Come with me. You can sit in the guest room or you can go home. …Something I appreciate more if you don't mind…" The last thing was said more as a mutter but Kakuzu heard it anyways. He resisted the urge to just kill the man. But Hidan helped him. "Hey! He stays here with me, Jashin damn it..!" ".. Okay. If you say so young master.." And so Kakuzu stayed with Hidan in the overdone large room. "OI!" Hidan screamed. "OI! Oi. oi…" You heard. "Haha its funny! And at least we have a place to stay. What will happen if I press this fucking button by the way..?" "Hidan! Don't!" But of course Hidan already pressed the red button. A few moments later someone knocked on the door. "There you have it already.. Come in!" Kakuzu said grumpy. A maid came in. "Did you call young master?" "… Wtf..! This is cool." Hidan said who finally noticed. "I'm their master!" Kakuzu rolled his eyes. The annoying little brown haired man already said it like over two thousand times or something. (A/N: ITS OVER TWO THOUSAND!! …lol) The maid who already knew from the brown haired man (his name was James by the way) that their master had a sun stroke wasn't impressed by what Hidan said. "young master? Why aren't you in bed?" She said, and gently led him to the King size bed. "Here you go.." She said and tucked him in. Hidan first looked shocked and then grinned from ear to ear. "I can get used to this.." He said when the maid was gone, leaving a glass of fresh water within his hand reach. "Well don't. I'm gonna get us the hell outta here." Said a grumpy Kakuzu.

It only took Hidan a few minutes to fall asleep, and Kakuzu sat there pondering on what to do now. It was becoming dark outside, and he wondered if he could stay here. The people in this obscenely huge house mistook Hidan for some rich guy. He could live with that… maybe… but they didn't like him at all. What if they sent him away..? Then Hidan would be alone in this enormous house. And he couldn't steal a thing then.. he realized. But that wasn't the worst thing. What if their real master came home..? There was a soft knock on the door. The maid came in again. "Young master?" she asked softly. But then she saw that Hidan was asleep. A soft smile crossed her lips. Then she saw Kakuzu. She stiffened. "Oh, sir! I completely forgot about you! You want me to make some dinner for you? I know it's a bit late, but still..?" Kakuzu looked at the startled maid. They didn't hate him, eh? "No. I'm not hungry anymore." "Shall I lead you to your guestroom then?" "Hm… Is it good if I stay here?" Kakuzu asked. He wanted to talk to Hidan, very soon. "Oh.. Eh… If the young master thinks it's all right? Yes you may." She smiled. Happy to do something good. Then she disappeared and the room was left in complete darkness.

So. That's chap 1

What do you think? Haha I thought about this when I saw a picture with Hidan and Kakuzu playing play station wii. Please review ^^


	2. Chap 2

Chap 2! Enjoy ^^

It was midnight. If you listened well you could hear owls. "Hidan!" Kakuzu hissed. "Huh..?" Hidan opened one eye. "Please… 5 more minutes…" He said when he saw Kakuzu standing above him. But Kakuzu kept saying his name and the sat up in the huge bed. "What is it, Kakuzu!?" He asked irritated by the fact that it was still completely dark and he was woken up by his partner. "I wanna talk to you!" Hidan looked around. Where the fuck was he..? Finally it sunk into his still sleepy brain. "Shit. What is it Kakuzu?" He asked much softer. "I wanna talk about how we can get the hell outta here!" Kakuzu hissed. "Huh..? But I don't wanna go yet! It's funny here!" The pink eyed immortal whined. He turned around and Kakuzu heard him snoring. *twitch* That bitch is sleeping again. It was futile to wake him up again, and Kakuzu fell asleep next to his partner.

"Breakfast!" someone said rather loud. Kakuzu opened his eyes and saw that Hidan was still sleeping. "ugh.. The sleepy bitch.." He muttered rubbing his eyes. He looked up looking straight into the shocked eyes of the maid. "W-what are you doing in young master his bed!? And did you just call him bitch!?" She asked sternly. Oops… that was a mistake probably. He had to watch his words here. He looked jealous at Hidan who was the rich guy here and could probably say anything he wanted. "Will you get outta his bed please!?" She asked still sounding stern. "What's wrong?" asked a sleepy voice next to Kakuzu. Under the thick blankets a small white head appeared. "Y-young master! He! He was sleeping in your bed! A-and he called you a …bitch..!" She said. Disgust all over her face. "Hunh..? He did..? That bloody money-whore.. Come here Kakuzu. I rip you to shreds!" The face of the maid paled. "Y-you just said…!?" she said unbelieving. Then she ran away. "Oh wow. She hates me now..?" Hidan asked not impressed. "Hidan they think you're their master! Please! Fucking act like one!" Kakuzu spat.

"Okay, okay! I'll fucking go after her! Jashin damn it!" He sprung out of his bed and ran to the door. "Oi! Stay here! I was still dreaming!"

It was so totally outta character that Kakuzu flinched. "Kami! Hidan don't do that ever again!"

But it helped. Even if it was a excuse of an excuse. (A/N: wow that was weird haha ^^) The maid came back. With a doctor. Hidan's face paled. He ran back to the bed.

"Kakuzu! Hide me! She had a doctor with her! Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

Kakuzu looked amused now. "what..? You're afraid of doctors?" Hidan sent him a death glare that almost surpassed The Uchiha Glare TM. "No. I'm not!" "Yes you are. I bet you are." Kakuzu said grinning behind his mask. "Okay! I am! But it has a reason and…~" "Young master! Where are you!" The maid asked loudly. In a flash Hidan was hiding under the bed. "He's here." Kakuzu said smiling amused. "Damn you Kakuzu!" Hidan yelled.

"See?" The maid said. "He's yelling the whole time… And he never swears as much as he does now! He must be sick! Cure him! Please..!"

The doctor nodded and walked towards the bed. "You can come out.." He said slowly. "I'm not gonna hurt you…" Slowly Hidan came out. He stood up, and then wanted to bolt out of the room, but Kakuzu already grabbed him. "He's always been afraid of doctors.." The maid told the doctor. "Hm… Interesting.." The doctor muttered slowly. "Now… Let me listen to your heart…" Hidan twitched. The doctor had a bad habit of talking VERY SLOWLY. By the door stood a few maids, looking what the problem was with their handsome master. A few almost fainted when they saw his muscular body. Hidan looked at them grinning widely. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and walked to the chair which stood near a now open window. He huffed and sat down looking to the upcoming sun. How late was it. Would Pain miss them? Probably he would still think they were examining the mysterious cave. Behind him he heard a little yelp. Kakuzu looked around just in time to see a needle entering Hidan's arm. He looked a little at the purple fluid which looked like the poison Sasori used to use before he died. He looked at Hidan's face. It was white and he was almost screaming with pain. Kakuzu's eyes widened. Hidan didn't scream in pain. He liked pain. Hidan was a masochist. What was that doctor doing..?! Realizing struck him. That doctor was poisoning him before their eyes! " D-does it hurt..?" The first maid asked. " No it shouldn't hurt. He is probably just faking it…" The doctor said. Kakuzu jumped up. Hidan was immortal, but who says he also was in this world!? The doctor looked up a dangerous look in his eyes. Then he smirked and left without a word.

Oeeeh dangerous…

What will happen next..? please review ^^


	3. Chap 3

Chap 3 enjoy ^^

In this chap they meet a certain someone. My OC. Muhahaha. Ow… ^^"

Okay. They only were here for like 1 day, and Hidan was already mistaken for a rich guy and poisoned. What's coming next, eh?

"Ah.. Damnit. That hurt!" Hidan said."HOW R U FEELING!?" Kakuzu screamed into his face. "Woah… Kakuzu! No need to scream!"

The maid looked at them smiling. "See? That wasn't so bad." Hidan and Kakuzu looked at her. Blood thirst in their eyes. "O-okay… I'll leave you alone for now… heh heh…" she said quickly walking away.

"Kakuzu… I feel… weird.." Hidan said. Shit! It WAS poison! A moment later Hidan collapsed. Kakuzu quickly dropped him on the bed, yelling for the maid to come. She came, looking shocked by so much noise. "W-what is it sir!?" "Call a doctor! … another one. Quick! And… call the police!" First the maid looked around wildly, but when she saw Hidan in the bed, her eyes widened and she ran out the room calling a doctor.

"Hmm… He's lucky he's still alive." The new doctor said. It was a woman and she had a young girl with her. She looked rather interested with it all. "I don't know for how long though…" the doctor muttered. "Who did this? It's a very dangerous poison. Kills in an instant!" By the word kill the young girl looked up. A wicked smirk on her face. She had light blue eyes and dark brown hair. She wore a blood red shirt and black pants. She actually looked quite scary. But that didn't really matter right now. Hidan couldn't die here! "He has to go to an hospital and~" "Ugh… No hospital." A voice said. Hidan! "Hidan! You're alive!" A maid looked up. "..Hidan..? I didn't know that was his name…" The scary girl looked quite happy at Hidan. Then she looked at Kakuzu and said: "Kakuzu? I suppose?" Kakuzu looked back at her. How did she know his name?! He didn't told her!

"My name is Kaida. What exactly are you doing here? Lost? This is another dimension you know.." The name was Japanese. It meant little dragon. But she wasn't Japanese at all…

"The poison is gone! He's completely healthy again!" the doctor said suddenly, unbelieving. The girl – Kaida – said smirking to Hidan: "Lucky you're immortal, huh..?" Then she left leaving a startled Hidan and Kakuzu behind. The doctor looked at her. "What..!?" She said. "Don't mind her… Sometimes she's a little bit… weird."

"That girl fucking knew…" Hidan muttered under his breath.

"Her real name isn't Kaida by the way. Its Alissa. My name is Eveline. We're a family." She said smiling now. "But you don't need me anymore now. You're healthy again!" then she left too after muttering a goodbye. The maids came running at Kakuzu and Hidan. "Young master! You need something?" They asked all at once. Hidan smirked. "Yes…" he said slowly. "I want one of..~" He was interrupted by James. "What do I see? You're still in bed?! I heard you were sick, but you look quite healthy in my eyes right now. Time to go. Oh! And… that person.. Kazaka or something… You can go home now." "Where do I have to go!?" Hidan yelled. The man forgot about Kakuzu and answered the question. "Why, to your violin lesson of course!" Hidan's eyes widened. "W-what!? But I'm still sick!" But James was already dragging him out of the room. The maids came with the clothes, and when Hidan came back from clothing Kakuzu almost couldn't hold his laugh. "H-Hidan… Y-you look good in this!" Kakuzu said turning around to laugh his ass off.

"FUCK YOU KAKUZU!" Hidan yelled. Lucky for him the maids and James weren't around for a minute.

"Oh! Hidan-sama! You look stunning in it!" The first maid said. She meant it. She turned around to blush madly.

"Stunning huh!?" Hidan said not happy with this at all. "You know something!? I don't wanna go to my violin teacher to learn playing violin! Why can't I go train for… Capoeira or something. Everything is better than playing violin!" "Huh…?! Fighting!? But young master! You never wanted to!" James said shocked. "But now I do!" Hidan yelled. Everyone thought he still was a little sick so they didn't really listen to everything he said. "Oh.. I see.." James said throwing his black suit jacket behind him. "You wanna fight, eh?" He asked. Their real master always cried when he only hit his toe… so he could handle him… Hidan smirked while Kakuzu rolled his eyes and said: "I wouldn't do it if I were you. I'll fight him." Hidan's smirk fell. "Oi Kakuzu! I wanted to fight him!" He whined, But Kakuzu already hit him in the gut.

Whats gonna happen next?

Next chap: the fight between Kakuzu and Hidan

This is probably the only chapter that my OC appears in.

Please review!! ^^


End file.
